Let that sink in for a bit as you read it. You might be wondering what that even means. Spiritual friendship isn’t something you just come across or even recognize right off the bat (at least for me, it wasn’t). It’s a friend, or group of friends, who lead and point you to God. I never knew what it truly was until I joined my church and was introduced to small groups. My small group was a group of women who met every Thursday. We’d do a Bible study together then discuss what we’d learned on the topic of what we were following and diving into. I really started to feel not only what “spiritual friendship” was but more of even the meaning of “true friends.” Before I made these spiritual friendships, I’d never been around a group of women that would pray together and talk vulnerably to help one another with the best advice they could. As it was then handed to God we knew & trusted that He would always point us in the direction of where it was going to lead us. Friendships are very important and always have an important meaning behind them, as every friend you have is - different from one another. That is what is so special about friendships and having so many different ones. Each one is unique and special to you. I just want you to know, I’m not here to tell you how to be a good friend or even be a Spiritual Friend, just want to give my meaning of friendships of my own. As they are very important to me, as it's where good friends become your family as well as lifting one another up. Friends are how you get to pick who you want to be in your circle to do life with. They understand everything that you are going through and will always be there for you, no matter what. The little catch is… You yourself have to be a good friend also. This starts just within you! If you aren’t a good friend to yourself, you can’t be a good friend to anyone else. you have to love yourself to be able to give yourself to others. What you put into you is just as important as what you give out to your friendships. If you aren’t happy with yourself, you won’t be happy with others. To know who you truly are, you have to fully dig within yourself. There are a few pieces. Confidence within you, believe in yourself, love yourself for who you are, and most importantly, stand up for who you are! If you are confident with who you are, you’ll be able to attract confidence in friendships. You want the ones who lift one another up. I love seeing my friends grow in who they are and chase the dream they want. You want to see them succeed, be happy for them, and cheer them along the way. Cause hey! Not everyone is always “perfect” or on their best game for that day. When you need a little belief or whatever it may be, your friends are able to help lift you up and remind you who you are! It's a hard world out there and even a cruel one. Why be so cruel to one another, when you can lift and help one another out? As you succeed, so do your friends. It’s a huge momentum circle where one feeds off another, to then lead into another. The more momentum you have, the more you grow stronger as a bond and always help each other out. Friendships are always for seasons of life. they are put into certain parts of your life, for when you might need that exact friend to be able to help you. Each one has its own story to be able to grow with you. “Friendship is the greatest of worldly goods. Certainly, to me it is the chief happiness of life. If I had to give a piece of advice to a young man about a place to live, I think I should say, ‘Sacrifice almost everything to live where you can be near your friends.’” C.S. Lewis Love that quote! I hope you can understand how important friendships are, what they stand for, and who they are. Without friendships, you won’t have much. As friendships really are the greatest of worldly goods! Says C.S. Lewis. Also along with C.S. Lewis, I couldn’t agree more, “to me it is the chief of happiness of life’ As it is! Love your friends, as you love yourself At the same time, the more you love your friends, the more you love yourself and are able to love them even more! Be who you are and give what you have! Love one another as God has loved you! Be the friend who you want to have.New Paragraph

Why hello again! I feel it's been a little bit since I’ve posted a blog or even gotten to write. So here we are. I write or post my blogs on what I feel inspires me that week or if something fun & exciting happens. So they might be all over the place & I apologize for that, but that is also just who I am. All over the place! With that being said, let's just dive into it. Have you ever felt you couldn’t make the choice to just say “yes” and go after what you want? There might be a few of us. It’s never easy, just to make the choice to say “yes” it comes with a lot of feelings behind it. Fear, anxiety, not thinking positive, just being scared, scared of the outcome, I mean there’s a lot that could be stopping you. The catch is.. WHAT IF YOU CHOSE TO SAY “YES” I’m not saying there isn’t going to be a lot of work behind it and scary, don’t get me wrong. It is scary, but there’s always the other hand. The hand of choice that you, yourself get to pick. You get to say “yes” even if it's scary in the middle of the storm. If you are going to be brave enough(which I know you are) to say “yes to the choice” you must also have the courage to stick to your vision because it will be tested. That I can promise you myself. Now that I’ve entered the new chapter of a season of life it hasn’t been easy. I won't lie to you. It hasn’t been butterflies & rainbows. Probably because if it was, it wouldn’t be worth it. With every challenge comes a storm. You just have to know you will be tested. That you are stronger than what you think, because of you. Yourself knows the outcome you want. You don’t stop until you get there. The work has been & be will cut out for you, but how are you going to keep working towards what you want? I’m here to say that because you have a choice to say “yes” you have the steps to move you forward, you have a choice to use what you’ve been gifted. It’s a gift you’ve been given. Especially when it's something you want to go after. When others might be questioning you, or you yourself even might be. Know you are strong enough within yourself because you said “yes!” Nobody else did or did it for you, but YOU! You said it for yourself to set your goals & dreams out to whatever they are. Don’t care what others think. This is what you get to pick for yourself. When you might be having those hard days, or questioning yourself because you will have those. It's something that just comes along with it. Know that it is completely normal to have those bad days because that is what makes your YES even stronger. You’ve committed to yourself. You owe yourself everything! Always be proud of what you are going after! I’m proud of you for saying “YES” even when it's so scary & you aren’t sure of the outcome. Write YES on a mirror you see every day or even something you see that can remind you, of what you are going after. Some of the littlest words are yet so strongly. I'm so excited for you to move forward & keep one foot in front of the other. YES! YES! YES! Go say “YES!”

Every week I’ve felt pretty inspired to write on something that I feel about. Rather It was good, bad, new, or even exciting. I want to share something with you that I really felt inspired about. I wanted to share it with you to be able to show you how important it is for you to push yourself not only physically & yet how much it teaches you mentally. The reason why I say that is because now that I am retired and have stepped out of the everyday single push, you are still able to push yourself in other ways. In everything that you do. Not just sports. For my book, I reached out to my trainer who's in Reading, PA. of where I would go spend weeks of training there. Everyone knows Apolo Onho. Not that he isn’t only the most decorated winter athlete, but most people know him by Dancing With The Stars. I would always say or tell myself, I must be doing something right, if I am able to train with Apolo’s trainer. I say that as I knew he(Mr. John Scfher) just didn’t work with anyone. Sometimes for us to always believe in ourselves, we have to borrow it. As it can be from anyone, for example, a coach is normally the biggest for someone who does sports. A parent, friend, teacher, anyone. They are the motivators for you. They know how to always push you to the next level. They teach you when you are down that you aren’t going to stay down. As for John that was his model for his training & why he is so good. He was going to break you and have you go until your legs physically gave out on you. I had already came from a very hard coach, so this wasn’t really anything new to me until it was a completely different kind of training and motivating. This was a different kind of hardness and something that I have never gone through. I mean I am sure there were days when I was a teenager & that I was probably thinking that I couldn’t go anymore until I threw up. That was the kind of coach Robb was, when I did inlined speed skating. Did any of you ever have a coach like that? He as well always knew how to push you & take you to the next level. Okay now back to where I had somewhat of a background of being pushed by Robb. John’s training was totally it’s own world. This was a kind of a push that was never going to end, at least felt like it wasn’t ever going to end. Most days, it wouldn’t until your legs gave out. If you wanted to die or even pass out from the training, that wasn’t even an option either, because I am sure if it was, I’d probably be dead by now! I knew that wasn’t going to work for me, and yet I knew John wasn’t going to put up with it either. So even though you might have had those thoughts, they were just thoughts. I can’t even begin to tell you, of how many times, I thought I am never going to see my life, because of this running that I am doing. I am seeing the stars in front of me. Yet somehow I would crave it. I wanted to be pushed to the next level. I wanted the fight. Do you, yourself ever feel that way? Where you are so hungry for the drive, that you want it so badly that it doesn’t matter how many stars you are seeing in front of you. That’s what makes a true champion within you. It's how hard you work, and how much you put into it. When I’d have John yelling in my face, I wanted to push myself even further. I wanted to prove him wrong, but yet prove to myself that I could push no matter what & that I wasn’t ever going to stop. Even if it meant falling over & having my legs give out. The blood & tears weren’t ever going to stop me. I’m used to that push of the everyday grind. I’m used to having someone push me and push me, and yelling at me. I’m used to all of that craziness. For me, it worked as an athlete, but yet also in ‘real-life’. As not too long ago, I had reached out to John to tell him about me writing my book. I told him how the publishers would always say something different. It was never just a clear answer. I’d felt put down and second guess myself. He would write back & say “And you out of anyone, are going to let someone steal your dream?” Yea, no. He was right, I wasn’t. That's when my mind went right back into training mode. I knew exactly what he meant & what he was saying. As hard as it is for me to always try to think of something to come up with about writing, I ponder my thoughts & have them come out onto my blog. Even though it is hard for me with the spelling, writing, knowing if it makes sense or not. That my background gives me the ability to always push myself, no matter how hard any of the writing is. That I would start to teach myself to use that to my ability. My point here is that. Whatever you push yourself in, that you can always push yourself in something else as well. It’s where and when it teaches you to always be stronger than what you think. When I would be running, or doing jumps on the stairs with one leg, or just being completely pushed to the next level. I knew it was not only making me stronger physically but it was making me stronger mentally. I had asked John to give me some of his thoughts on how it was during training. Below I’ll share what he said. John isn’t just your typical ‘trainer’ but as someone who knows how to break you down physically & mentally to see if you can even handle it. I’ve never worked with anyone as hard as I have with John. I can’t even express or even put into words what a different kind of training it is. Even as hard as he pushes you physically, you are so mentally strong, that it makes you want to do it over & over again. I just touched base with him actually about this blog, as he helped me a bit with it. He described to me, “it's just like another set in the gym, you do it over & over again until it's perfect. You don’t stop, and this is no different”. He was completely totally right, this is no different. It's just not in the gym anymore but for my case my writing. So here is what John had to say. I have had the honor of training many world-class athletes. I don’t judge the athletes I train by how many gold medals or world championships they have accomplished, but more by their journey to get to a world-class level. There are athletes who get to a world-class level with minimum effort, but without the journey, they never reach their true potential. No matter the accomplishments, it takes a really special person to travel that journey. Kelly was one of those rare athletes who made that journey.

When I first trained her she was coming off a very serious ankle injury that would have ended most athletic careers. I had the honor of leading Kelly on her journey. As with all my top athletes, I took her to places training-wise she never thought she could ever go - pain levels, training thresholds, mental challenges where your body is screaming for you to stop and maintaining the mental threshold to push through even though you feel like it’s not possible and the discipline to pay attention to every detail to maintain recovery and adaptation to the workouts – nutrition, rest, and timing. To me, the greatest athletes are judged not by their awards but by their commitment, effort, mental strength, to be challenged to the edge of what they feel is not even possible and still do it over and over again, just never quitting, taking these things to a level that would kill most humans. Kelly traversed that journey and is, without a doubt, in the elite group that wears the title of legit world-class athlete! John Schaeffer I share that part of my story with you. As it has been a journey, but I wouldn’t be where I am without the journey today. The parts you don’t think are worth it during that moment are worth it later. That's what makes your story YOU. We all have a story of our own. It’s ours to share it if we want too. I know there are millions of us out there in this world. How many of you, might feel lost in it or not sure how to motivate yourself? With what I am learning now not being the athlete that I once was for most of my entire life, sports have taught & shown me how to work hard. It has also shown me how to believe in others when they might not believe in themselves. It has taught me when you might not get along with a coach that you have to find your own inner strength. It's taught & shown me, that you can always do whatever it takes to go the extra mile. Most importantly it has taught & shown me that with hard work & pushing yourself, when you thought you couldn’t anymore, you always find away. Mind over matter really does work when you are pushing yourself. You find it in you to keep that drive going. When you have the best coaches and teams behind you, you can always keep going because of the belief that they have in you. So as I said above in this. If you ever need to borrow it from anyone else. Borrow it and start to learn how to always believe in you and push yourself where you thought you couldn’t ever before. You will even surprise yourself most days. I’ll share that with you, as there were most days when I was seeing the stars, blood running down my legs, tears in my eyes that I absolutely thought I couldn’t go anymore, I’d always find the extra drive & determination in me to keep pushing & keep going, as John knew how to push me. I knew I was strong within myself. I believed in me. You always believe in You! Go after your dreams!

It's your Freshman year of college! I am writing this, as a girl who’s never gone to college, so please bear with me. I am going to try to make this as best of a blog that I can! I am also writing this as for you to be super excited & ready for the next steps in life. You probably have all of these thoughts going into your mind. I’m the new person on campus. What does my roommate like? Will I get along with my roommate? Am I going to struggle in my classes with all of the homework? Will I even maybe gain the “freshman 15?” I mean I am sure you have a lot of questions & that the list can keep going on. As that is completely normal to have all of those questions & thoughts. That knowing it’s just in the beginning and then everything else will start to fall into place. This is where you start to really begin the next 4 years of your life. You start to create your own personality even more so. Becoming yourself & who you are, as you grow more into the person you are. You make friends that you will probably have for a long time after school. Where you will meet some of your true friends, to do life with. Might even meet the love of your life and marry him maybe someday! You have all of the future at your fingertips. Yet as you are fresh out of the house and this is all completely new to you. You get to learn all of the ropes yourself. Your parents, siblings drop you off and say “Good Luck, see you soon!” Ah, now what. I’m in this new big world alone. Luckily for you, you aren’t the only freshmen & there & will be a lot of you, getting to know one another. This is where you can start to find clubs, study groups & whatever kind that might interest you, that you can join. Don’t let one thing define you. If you go into college thinking you are going to do one thing for the rest of your life, but then you decide it's not for you, you have the power still to be able to change your mind and find something. Don’t just ever settle on one thing. You can do and be anything you want to be. If you are anything like me, and school let alone classes might be a little harder for you. Do not be afraid to get some extra help. I’ll be the first to tell you, we all aren’t perfect, nor are we even made up to be “perfect”. Set your mind & go after it, even if it takes you a little extra time and work to be able to get it done. You will & can always say you’ve given it your best, no matter what! Just please never be ashamed to ask for help, even if it's your roommate or a good friend on campus that you connect with. Always ask, if you need it! If you are also playing sports or have gotten a scholarship to play a sport at school, this is where you really have to put your head down and work hard. Not only are you having to do your schoolwork with papers that need to be turned in at a certain time, but yet always making sure you are showing up to practice and making sure you aren’t just doing the “showing up” but being ready to go. You’ll have a lot on your plate. As you are also ready for this. Senior year teaches you a lot. Being ready for that first year of college, so it isn’t a complete total of a shock. Even though it still might be a little bit. Sports you get to do for the love of it and something you are so passionate about. You now get to choose what parties you want to attend and not attend because of practice the next morning. I always say “choose wise” There is always a place and a time for that later. Never lose sight of your dreams in the middle of the peer pressure while doing what you love. I say that & give the advice, as now you will be tempted to want to do what your friends are doing. This is where you get to set yourself apart from the group & really focus on what you are going after. If you play a sport your freshman year and it just didn’t work out for you, then do not feel pressured to continue to play. You learn a lot about yourself year 1 whether you realize it or not. College is your journey and what is going to set you up for your further. Also a lot of times there is where scouts are looking at you to then play in the big leagues. If that is your dream to play for the NFL, NBA, Major League teams, you really have to find your determination in yourself and know that nothing is going to ever stop you! You will have had the fight & drive in you already, since doing it as a kid & that you’ve now found your passion. This is just the beginning of it, as now you can push yourself even further and keep your eyes on what you want to achieve. Have fun with it, as this is the best year of playing sports where you’ve dreamt of going to college. This is where you get to go out and show what you are made of, what you work for, what you give up on those nights you want to go out. This is where you fight in the gym & push yourself further than you’ve ever pushed yourself. This is when you “thought” about giving up & pushing yourself to throw up. This is where you always go the extra mile, push yourself as you have never before. The drive can only come within YOU. This is where you look into the mirror and fight for what you want in life. This is where you might not get along with every single coach, but yet you find it away. This is where you need to talk with a sports psychiatrist. You find one to help you and work with you. Not only did you just do that in high school & growing up, but now you are taking yourself to a completely different level. This is where you really fight to win for yourself & make yourself proud. You are now growing into the athlete that you’ve always wanted to become. This starts now. This is when you want something so bad you don’t ever stop dreaming of it. Yet opening your eyes & working towards it every single day. This is when you have a bad day at training you leave it on that day. The next day is a whole new brand day to start over again and keep working hard. This is where you find where you believe in yourself, you are your biggest cheerleader. Don’t forget that on those days, when you feel alone. Always find the inner voice to keep pushing yourself to the next level. College is one of those experiences where you're going to get out of it, what you put into it. You can become anyone you absolutely want to be. The best part, it’s not high school so you don’t have to worry about being a part of the “popular group” or the “sports group.” You can have a number of friends and not everyone needs to be friends with each other. You need to be able to separate yourself from your dorm friends to your teammates, to the people you meet in your classes. Each group is going to teach you something about yourself and is going to open your eyes to views and perspectives you may have been closed-minded to. Since I was the girl who didn’t get to go to college. I reached out to one of my good friends, Courtney & asked for a little bit of her help and wanted to know about her freshman year experience. To be able to share with you from someone who did go & choose a University. As I thought about this today what I was going to add in here & tie it all together. This thought came to my mind. Courtney & I just became friends not really too long ago. We were just the ones where the friendship just clicked. I share that also because that is probably a lot of how your “new friends” are going to be, as you are walking into your first few months of college. You’ll make friends, and then you'll make friends, where you just click and it's easy. Hold onto those friendships because they are the special ones & the ones that will always be there for you, no matter what! Good friends are hard to come by. Cherish those ones that mean a lot to you. So let’s hear about how Courtney’s freshman year of college & how it was for her! My freshman year was one for the books! I had a difficult time choosing my university, and I refused to go into school without a major declared. My Dad is a college professor and after a school visit, I decided I wanted to change my major. My Dad suggested I go to school with him, sit in a sports class and see what I thought. I did the above and decided okay, I’m going to major in Sports Business and I am going to go to a school where my Dad taught. I always throw in there, it was not by choice that I had to attend that University, and trust me, my Mom was not the happiest! I really can’t picture myself at any other University. Freshman year started and it was great. I had a good roommate, we also lived in a coed dorm which was great because we met more people. We really enjoyed the start of freshman year and I made sure I was putting myself out there and making the most of it! Now, I know what you’re probably thinking, “you went to school where your Dad taught?” Yes, and I would 100% choose it again. Did I face the, you’re Docs daughter question a lot, absolutely, but I got to see my Dad whenever I wanted, I got dinner from home whenever I wanted and who’s complaining about a home-cooked meal! Aside from that, I really started to learn who I was freshman year. I got myself into a routine, I made sure I surrounded myself around good people and worked hard in my classes. Everyone has different experiences with year 1. Some are good, some are bad. I think the most important message to those who are nervous about starting college like I was, is whether you’re in a new state, you’re farther from home or not good with making friends is if you don’t try to adapt to this new setting you are letting yourself down. Your best friend is there, I promise you. Nobody said college was going to be easy, but college is wonderful and if you’re feeling uneasy, trust me, there are plenty of others who are feeling uneasy too. Being involved in groups and going to events with your school hosts is important because that is where you find your people. And that was what I learned. I found my people by being involved and I’m so glad I put myself out there and did everything I could. Thank you Courtney for sharing your experience not only with me but now whoever will read this. Hoping they can gain a little be of ease going into their freshman year! You are totally walking into your brand new chapter of your future. There will be times where it is hard & challenging & you might be really hard on yourself as well being down on some days. Keep pushing. As an athlete, I will tell you, “Push through your school work-homework, just as you would a practice of a sport that you do.” Always keep on pushing no matter what. As it's on those hard days ×s when you grow throughout yourself & become stronger. Don’t ever quit on yourself. Always prove to yourself, that you can do anything, you put your mind to. Enjoy the new ride of this chapter of life. This is just your beginning to whatever you want to be, as well as becoming whoever you want to be. Always remember the sky's the limit & you can reach for anything! Keep your head up, as well as having fun. Believe in you! If you ever need a little reminder of letting yourself know, you're not alone. Come back and read this blog. We are always here for you! Good Luck~

Since writing my blogs. I wanted to start this one about my faith and really open about it because it's really a big part of who I am. It was Mother’s Day of 2020 & I listened from online, as I am sure just most of us did. It really sat with me and I really pondered on it. This past week, I listened to the message again. I listened carefully as once I felt God talk to me, through this message. His message was & is about, “It’s more than you can bear, but he’s giving you a story to share.” Just the title hit home with me. As I’ve always known sometimes it has felt more than I can bear, but I also always knew there would be a story to tell after I went through the bearing of it. Never did I always see it at the moment, as that there would be a reason for what I was going through to make me stronger to have a story to tell. I believe just trusting God & knowing what I was going through I would later then have a story to tell. With every hardship comes a reason after it to be able to tell about it. (If you chose to) God teaches us to trust him in all of our dark places. He also teaches us how to grow from within us to be able to honor him. All of the glory to God. I start to explain all of this without giving my story or even just some of the background of my faith. I never was the one who grew up in a church or even went to church every Sunday. I always believed in God, but never saw into a church until my early-mid 20’s. (besides the holidays) I was introduced to a church that was pretty new in the area of Salt Lake City(at the time). I had gone one Saturday evening as it was a small area of the meeting room with chairs lined up & a band. I was hooked from the very first night, turning into going ever sense. I knew this was meant to be for me. The pastor seemed as if he was talking right to me. For someone not knowing a lot about my faith & who truly God was. I just knew this is where I was supposed to start & begin my journey. I went for the next 9 years. I would go on Saturday nights then turning into every Sunday. Every holiday. Then wanting to get involved more & more. Leaning into being on the greeting team, to being in small groups. That I then joined. On Sundays, I would already be looking forward to the next Sunday. It was something I would sit in at knowing how every single word of each message would somehow relate to me. I maybe didn’t know it then, of how much it was connecting to me each time. I would sit & really pounder on the message & really then apply it to my day to day life. Week after week, month after month & year after year. I would then really start to feel God. I would start to grow with him, as it was all a new learning process for me. I would start to feel him in what I was doing in my day to day life. I would find myself wanting to know more about the bible and take the “homework” a lot more seriously. I would ask questions & want to know everything. I may not have totally understood a lot of it, but I knew I wanted to be involved in one way or another. I had met one of my really good friends at church, McKenzie. The pastor, Troy told me, he could see us being really long time life friends. He was right. I had always looked up to her and would even say if I could be as prettier as her, could I be! I was starting to learn how & why God was putting certain people into my life. Did he put McKenzie into my life so I could start to believe in myself? Would he do it, because she’s one of my best spiritual friendships? Anytime that I had a question about anything, she would always point me to God & give me the best advice. We don’t have the answers, but God does & I would just thank him for the great friendship that I had with one my closest spiritual friendships. As I knew everything always happens for a reason, I would start to see God through it all. As I listened to the message “It’s more than you can bear, but he’s giving you a story to share” it would all start to make even more sense to me. Was God telling me everything I went through & am going to go through was just going to be more of the story of my own? I believe so. I never believed in my own story until I would start to tell it & share it more. Then I would believe more of what God was doing. I don’t want to tell & share my whole story in one blog, but more so to help you. I want you to find your message. What is your own personal story being written about? Do you feel God working through you to be able to tell & share your story? I believe with my story, God was telling me & starting to show me how to help others through my own story. As hard as it was growing up with a father who had an alcoholism problem. I wouldn’t understand it until later. What I went through I'd grow wiser from it. I learned that we can’t change people just for ourselves. I learned that even if you’d bag & bag for them to be in your life, they will choose what they want to choose. I learned that only that person can & want to change for themselves. Absolutely no one can do it for them. I learned as hard as it was, as a teenager trying to figure it all out, let alone understand it all, that I would grow up and be mature enough to know it maybe wasn’t all them. That the drinking was doing most & all of the talking. God was showing me that I would have to work through my story. To be able to help you work through your story through mine. I learned that as bad as I just wanted to be smart like everyone else and get straight A’s, that just wasn’t going to happen for me. The struggle for me was something that I was just going to have to learn how to deal with but yet become stronger because of it. Just because I wasn’t as good as everyone else in my class at a subject. I wasn’t even close enough to be just as smart as half of them. That was okay. As hard as it was for me to expect it & actually be okay with my learning disability. I knew that it’s just a part of who I am. God showed me that I didn’t need to have the book smarts, as much as I wanted. To show me how to travel around the world. God gave me my personality & showed me through my struggles that I could help & share my story with them, to get through theirs. I learned as much as I loved one entire sport for most of my life, that there was more out there. I learned that from feeling & trusting God. God was writing and telling my story totally different than what I had thought it was going to be. He was to teach me about him & that I would start to learn more of who he was. I would start to see my story change because I would trust within my faith more & more. I would then start to see as bad as you struggle with anything in life, that God was going to be there to help you fix it & let you grow from it. I was starting to learn that everything that I had gone through was being “more than I could bear, but it's a story to share” I started to grow up & trust more within God ¬t so much myself. I would then start to see the outside picture of life. I would start to see people for who they were. God was starting to teach me & show me, who he was. That he was & is in the driver seat. That he is in control, not me. As I am writing this, I am listening to the sermon maybe for my 4th-5th time. Each time I hear something different & really connections with me. So I will leave you with this, As I feel this is where I should leave off. The Apostle Paul knows very well how it feels to suffer, be in prison for good & bad. He knows first hand “It's more than he can bear, but God was giving him a story” He(the Apostle Paul) believes in us. He showed us how it was for him to struggle, but yet he was going to be able to get through it. 2 Corinthians 1:7 And our hope for you is firm because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also in our comfort. The reason why I leave you here or with this is because throughout my story. I did a lot of suffering, growing through pains, not knowing if I would ever be able to make it through all of the struggles & hardships. Now knowing I (myself) went through & still am going through it all knowing that, it is always going to be more than I can bear, but a story to share. I couldn’t be prouder of who I am, & my story to share. I say that so strongly, as I’ve grown so much that I know what I went through (& still am) is making me stronger. It’s given me the perseverance to never give up. I know God is showing me how to keep trusting within him, to be able to keep showing & teaching my story. I learned all of that growing through all of the struggles, knowing somewhere there would be a story to share. Trusting & knowing God was going to have one for me someday. I don’t know where you are on your spiritual journey. I just wanted to share a little piece of mine to help you know it's “more than you can bear, but a story to share.’ Keep believing in your story & know when you are struggling that it's going to be a story to share(If you chose to) Along with a story, you never know anyone else’s. Listen to theirs and read the pages together. Always remember, believe in you, knowing God always has a reason for everything, cause at the end its “More than you can bear, but a story to share.” Blessings Take a listen! It's a favorite! https://www.capitalchurch.com/the-story-you-bear/

Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough? I totally have myself. It almost feels like when it rains it pours, everything all just comes at you at once. Then you start to ask yourself all of the questions of what you are doing wrong or why aren’t you good enough. The thing is, you are good enough. You are everything you want to be. The outside noise always wants to win. It wants you to think that you aren’t pretty enough, smart enough or whatever those thoughts are for you. You have to know for yourself though that you are beautiful inside & out. It doesn’t happen overnight, and I’m not here to say it's easy. It might take a few years because it easily could. It's the process of the work that you have to keep pushing through. It's when you have to find your own inner strength. You need to know for yourself that you can do anything you put your mind to. Even if that is just starting to believe in yourself more and more. I know as a girl it's hard to sit & have patiences ¬t pick yourself a part. I’ll be the first to tell you, I pick myself apart all the time. I’m not saying it's right or that I don’t believe in myself, but that I am human and also the girl, who's very hard on myself. I think a lot of us might be. Let me tell you about one of my favorite words & maybe it will help you also. One of them is Believe. Might ask me why is that my favorite word? Especially since I didn’t ever even believe in myself. The reason why the word believe was & is my favorite is because I've worked really hard to believe in the word & myself. Growing up I struggled with a learning disability & it was very hard for me to expect it. Middle school/high school, I for sure wasn’t by any means the ‘pretty girl’ I just wanted to BE like the ‘pretty girls’ instead, I had braces on, and that Christina Aguilera 90’s hair color that was blonde and red? In those years of high school, I had my passion for skating. I totally used that as my outlet, I guess you would say. Even in skating though, I didn’t believe in myself either. I never thought I was fast enough, like the other girls, or good enough like them either. Racing against older girls or even sometimes the guys, I would be scared to death to race them. Until sometimes, my coach would chase after me on the skating floor until I wasn’t scared anymore. He would teach me how to be a racer & know that I could be the racer. Not to ever back down from anymore. The thought of fear had to be out the window! It for sure made me a better skater to never back down. As a skater, I was always right there, I wasn’t first or last, but always right there. 4th and final position, it was as if me and 4th place were the best of Friends. Fast forwarding some years, out of high school and starting adulthood, I still didn't believe in myself. Nor was I even coming close to it. I was now entering my early 20s and I had just crossed over to a new sport of long track speed skating. The wheels, I knew everything about. How to fix them, change the wheels, just put them on my feet & skate! This whole new ice world, was a totally different sense for me, and I for sure didn’t believe in myself then. Now that skating was my entire life. I never dated in high school, nor have a boyfriend. That there sure, were definitely boys, I liked, but they were’t ever going to like me back. All my friends had boyfriends & then there was just me the girl, who didn’t believe in herself. I just wanted to be like everyone else, and have someone like me, was that so much to ask for? I mean I didn’t think, I was asking for a million dollars, or even a makeover! Just one simple wish to come true. Well what I have learned about the word believing is that, it just doesn’t come to you overnight, and that you have to work a little to get it. You might laugh or ask, why you would have to “work” for it, well the reason, why you would have to work for it, is because only YOU can believe in you. It's just like practice and if you play a sport or practice anything in life, it's about the repetition, you have to practice & practice at just believing in yourself. I know it is easier said than done, I get that, Trust me, but once you do, it's a huge game changer for sure! The reason why I say it's a “game changer” is because maybe you could be the one, who doesn’t believe in yourself and you are trying to find ways to start to believe in yourself. You have to find the little things in yourself that you make you happy. Find them for yourself and take pride in what they are. Keep working on yourself before anything else. When you start to just believe in yourself you start to believe in other things in life as well. As maybe it's the job you want, the guy, the friendship, family relationship. It can be literally anything in life, but when you start to believe in you, you start to believe in everything! I say all this and give my personal examples to help you if you could be the one who’s trying to believe in yourself. Asking all of the questions of “why not me?” or “why don’t I believe in myself” or any of the questions that you do ask yourself & maybe even pick yourself apart. I’m here to tell you that you are one amazing human being. Don’t beat yourself up. Don’t let the outside noise win. You are in control of your thoughts and what you want. Things will come and happen always when we least expect it. So keep praying, keep your head up, keep pushing yourself, and always no matter what, ALWAYS KEEP BELIEVING IN YOU!

I was working a 14 hour day this day, as it was a Monday April 14th, 2019. I had just worked at the school & I was headed straight to my second job, I was in line for Starbucks for something to keep me awake for the rest of the evening/night. As it was only the start of the week! I had called my brother to tell him, I was ready to go to the south! I was ready to move out of Utah. He said “That’s great. Do you know where you're going & all these questions a brother would ask!” I just simply said “no, I have no idea yet! But I should go probably check it out huh?” He says “Kelly, you should move to Ohio!” I started “dying laughing, I said there’s absolutely no way! Nope, not happening! Thanks but no thanks! Nope! Nope! Nope!” He says “I’m serious, you can live in my basement & save up as much money as you want/ can & you can move wherever you’d like! Just think of how much money you’d save!” He was onto something. I had this feeling come over me, that I don’t know if I had ever felt anything like it before, I simply say “okay” he says “okay?” I said “Let’s do it! I think you are right. I’m 32, and I would like to work to be able to buy something of my own, I’d love to have something for myself!” He couldn’t believe it, & well neither could I! I woke up Tuesday, wondering if I had fallen & hit my head or what actually happened to me. That feeling I had was God, telling me that it was going to be okay, that this is what I had to do. I had NO idea why I was ever supposed to move to Ohio. I had so many questions in my head, maybe just as you would. How many of us, ask ourselves about the future & maybe even try to figure it out for ourselves? I know I am one of them & I could probably think of a few good reasons why, but really what mattered was, I was ready to take a huge leap of faith & trust within myself. I knew that the change was going to be beyond scary and even a little fear sat within me. What change isn’t scary of so many of the unknowns? I’m sure there are probably a few of us that could be scared of it and not sure if we can take the leap of faith. I learned that I had to remember what my goals were & always keeping that in mind. When I didn’t have all of the answers in front of me, but also knowing it wasn’t my forever. I was going somewhere where I had always said I wouldn’t ever go before or even back too. I had never done anything like this before in my entire life, picking up & moving across the country leaving a home for the last 12 years of my life. I was established in Salt Lake City, my friends and what I called home was all there. I was ready for the change and I was ready to see what was on the other side of the mountains. We don’t have all of the answers & we might not even have one of the answers. That it's okay to trust within our gut and follow it. I always say “easier said than done” when I give advice, but sometimes I need to listen to my own. As I believe we forget our goals & forget why we even took the leap of faith, because of the fear that can set in and get in the way of us. We always have to find our strengths within us. We as humans are a lot more powerful than we think and give ourselves credit for. I say that & to tell you, when you are alone & you don’t think you can do it, you have a little self prep talk with yourself. The determination will find you. You stand up taller, believe in you and you go for it! Don’t let anything ever stop you. Be strong & don’t ever, ever forget who you are and what you stand for. Always go after what you want. I know this world is this big scary place, it is for me. I know when I can take deep breaths, sit down and remember my goals, I keep moving forward. Maybe that's what you need to do, take the leap of faith & move forward or maybe you don’t need to sit down and write them out, and that's okay. As this world is as big as it is, we are all so different in so many ways. Some work this way, while others work that way. We weren't all made to work one cenern way. That is the beauty of being you, while finding out who you are! Maybe the big leap of the faith for the change is just what you need. I don’t know the answers for you, but I can tell -you that you can do it. As change may have bigger answers for the new opportunities ahead for you. The change is like a roller coaster you might be up, down & all over the place, but if you always know the ride does and will stop, you will get to your final destination. Buckle in cause life is always one heck of a ride. Make sure you smile as the camera as you go by!

This week on the blog, I want to talk about your passion! What's yours!? I felt inspired to write on this topic for a few different reasons & here’s why! A month ago I was invited to a speaking/coaching event that I was super excited about & couldn’t wait to give my presentation up in front of a group of people & get coached on where & how to get better. That has now moved to online & will look a little different, instead of being in front of an audience, I’ll be so, but behind a computer screen, as this feels is the “new normal.” The reason why I felt inspired is because now I get another chance to start to tell my story & yet be able to start picking it all apart to know when & where to really dive in & make sure I know what I’m saying is making all sense! Cause I know me, and I know sometimes it can be well all over the place! Practice really does make perfect! When you practice right! I felt inspired actually just by my own personal story just with everything that I have gone through. I say that more so because of giving a presentation on the topic of skating & finding your passion, but yet never letting it define you either, but having something you love that makes you so happy that you are just truly so passionate about it! Are a few examples! My niece's skating coach Emily. Leah(my niece) always said I’d be good friends with Emily because we were the same person, I didn’t even know who Emily was before I moved & met her in Ohio! I had only just known of her as my niece’s coach! Well little did we know, the 12-year-old, was right & Emily & I became fast friends! My brother who also knows her would have said the same thing! It was a friendship where it just clicked! She also being a skater knew about skating & how it was always her love & passion for it, and still is! Now just in another light of coaching & giving back to others along the way! Emily sat down with me to help me go over my presentation as well as sort the ideas out! So with talking out loud made me realize more of how I always loved skating, and how no matter how hard it was, or the training was or even having my learning disability, I never let any of those get in the way, as it was my love for the sport that I enjoyed so much. Just always goes to show no matter how much you love something & you are drivin by it, you won’t let anything stop you! I see that with my niece who pitches softball, as she loves the sport & is completely beyond passion in it. I see a mirror, imagine of myself looking back at me. She’s driven, determined, and always wants more of it. More of it meaning she now has a 50ft cage in her backyard to practice pitching! I, on the other hand, love it! As I see & know how much better she wants to be, and become! When we find what we love so much we enjoy it & it doesn’t even seem like “work” because it’s easy for us to love it, and keep at it, and keep getting better & better! Me being a little older & stepping back & seeing everyone’s passions for what they love, makes me so excited for them as they’ve found what it is! We can have all different kinds of passions & enjoy them all in different ways as well! For me, I love jogging & just knowing when my body doesn’t hurt, I can enjoy it & be passionate about it, as it’s something that I can push myself as if I was on my skates. I think once we become such an athlete, it always lives within us with everything after! As also for me, with my writing & being driven to getting out there to be able to inspire you! That’s my dream & something I’m passionate about because I know I love what I want to do! I think once we find something we love so much it just becomes a part of who we are! Even for athletes who then retire after their sport, it’s the famous question of “what’s next?” What’s your new love & passion going to be? Some might know, & some might not know, but I truly believe that is okay, because we aren’t all made to be perfect & have it figured out right away, but to keep moving & pushing ourselves to know what our next dream is! We don’t ever have to sell ourselves short & just pick one dream, pick as many as you want! Keep dreaming as much as you love what you want to do! I also want to say, don’t let it become you or ever define you as much as you are so passionate about it, you have to know who you are within yourself. Don’t let yourself get lost within the sport, but always be true to yourself. I know it is easier said than done because we are doing something we love so much, yes that is completely absolutely fine, just don’t lose yourself within. Always be you for who you are also! Don’t forget that!